Skip to content

Coffee gnome

In general gnomes are the quiet type, not prone to verbosity. Our Coffee Gnome is no exception. We come down in the morning and he’s waiting patiently on the dining room table between the candlesticks, as always. He offers no greeting, no “Good morning!” or “How y’all doing today?” Just a silent nod and his tiny cup held out to be filled.

The exception to this pattern is the random and completely unpredictable morning when he’s heard a new coffee joke. He LOVES java humor, the more idiotic the better. Then, look out, it’s hard to get him to stop.

“What do you call a snake who has consumed too much coffee? Viperactive!”

“What do you call sad coffee? Depresso.”

“What do you call a cow after she’s given birth? De-calf-inated!”

We give an obligatory groan for the groaner. That’s what Coffee Gnome wants—confirmation that his jokes suck as bad as intended—then get on with breakfast . . . smiles on our faces. Coffee Gnome—the perfect way to start your day.